December 8th: This was my sisters birthday. It was also the day T told me he was going to send me a package. Today I almost didn't go to Relief Society, I only did because there was a Munch and Mingle after church. I am so so so glad I did. i felt like it was just for me. The teacher, amber, said that at the last minute she changed her lesson. By the end I was holding back tears. The closing hymn was I need thee every hour. I couldn't sing, I ran out of there and cried in the bathroom really hard for about 10 min. I haven't had an experience like that in a very long time. It was so powerful.
It was my sister's birthday today, and i went to my house and was reminded of how much I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE. my roommate says that i'm racist against white people :) I was also reminded of how much my family gets on my nerves. I think i was paired with them to learn patience.
December 29th: I was sick half of last week and most of this week, i still have a really bad cough but i feel a ton better than I did. School starts again next week bleh I am not excited.
My best friend/ room mate is in Brazil and won' t be back until the 8th. her being gone couldn't go by slower.
I'm going to lexy's for new years eve, i'm super stoked about it.
January 1st:so its exactly 2:11 on Jan 1st 2014 here and i'm sitting on my couch emailing you....kinda pathetic huh. I'm basically going to vent to you about my night now. So I had 4 parties I was invited to.:
1. Kinz's 6-after midnight
2. tanner's 7-after midnight
3. a great gatsby themed party 9-after midnight $15
4. the school party 9-2 (supposedly) $10
I told Kinz I couldn't do to hers cause there was too much other stuff I had to go to.
I told Kinz I couldn't do to hers cause there was too much other stuff I had to go to.
We decided against going to the Great Gatsby one because it was too expensive to go to both parties.
My room mate was planning on having me be her buddy to go to the last 2 (shes a party animal) I promised i would go with her and band buddies were counting on me to go to tanner's
The Plan:
just me go to tanners until 10:40ish
get back to the apartment around 11ish and go to the school party with my roommate ash. and thats what happened
the details:
I got to Tanner's party and had tons of fun. We chatted and played games. there was only 8 of us total, but it was awesome. I didn't want to leave but i don't break promises. So i got back at 11.
and Ash and I went to the school party. two words are all i need to explain it: slut competition. I don't think i have ever seen skankier dressed girls or closer dancing in my life. I didn't want to really go in the first place cause i hate dances and can't dance. but ash needed a friend to go with, but i think she made a couple new friends.
ash is wearing leggings that look like the universe, a fringe tank top, and a pink jacket. I'm wearing jeans a t-shirt and a sweater/jacket thing.
Getting into the dance:
I drive us there. we find out its actually $20 per person, and we don't want to pay that much. so we start to leave, but this guy confronts us about why we are leaving and gives us wristbands for only $10. we get in, but we have to get patted down by cops first. my first experience ever getting patted down it was sketchy.
The dance:
so obviously i'm not going to be a party pooper so ash leads us to the middle of a giant mosh pit. I'm kinda having fun until it starts getting squishy. people start stepping on my toes, I almost fell over probably more than 5 times. I got squished between two peoples backs for about 10 min between (not to be rude) but this huge girl, and this guy. ash has started dancing with some random stranger. finally I can't take the pushing and squishing anymore, so I tell her I'm going to find a roomier area. I go over to a wall on the outskirts and just chill there from about 11:45ish-12:05ish. then I go sit in a chair for about 10 min all while texting Lex about how awful this party is. Oh i forgot about every other song there was strobe lights. so I'm blind and deaf right now. she texts me and we meet back up. She said that she kissed that guy she was dancing with at midnight and got his number.once again reminding me how i've gone 18 years without getting a new years eve kiss. and spent this one entirely alone. She said she needed to say hi to someone who was there then we could leave. we go back into the mosh pit (after he doesn't show up) to look for him. She sees some of her friends and we dance with them for about an hr. During which she gets up on the stage for about two songs, then to get down she gets on her friends' friends' shoulders (i hope that makes sense). then we finally get her back to the ground and she starts dancing with him. so after about 5 min of that i told her i was getting hot. so i left and sat in the hallway on the cold cement for about 10-15 min. then she texts me asking where I am so we can go, and she says her friends are going hot tubing. and her and I are invited. the guys leave, and she wants to go have one more dance with a guy she knows, so i join ( it was 2 or 3 more dances) (keep in mind its about 1:30 or so by this time).
After the dance:
we finally get around to leaving. and i tell her i don't want to go hot tubing (mainly cause I know none of these people, and I don't have a swimsuit here) so I tell her I don't have a swimsuit (shes from Hawaii, so she has millions) she offers for me to wear one of hers. I basically say no, but I will still drive her to go hot tubing. she gets ready and we get in the elevator in our apartment building. we live on the 3rd floor and we had to get to the underground parking garage. we press the button the doors close. we are talking and after a minute I realize we haven't moved. that's right i'm now stuck in an elevator. we press the buttons. I'm about to have a panic attack and I start screaming about how we are stuck in a freaking elevator at 2 in the morning on new years day. after a couple minutes the doors finally open and we get out, i take her to the thing. and here i am at 2:50 on new years day telling you. HAPPY NEW YEAR. my resolutions: learn how to play my guitar and be better
January 12th: T told me he sent my package
January 18th: I basically just told T how much I hate not being to call him up any second of the day. I think I was having a really bad day.
January 19th: I got in a huge fight with Lex today. It was awful. I really want a tattoo. That is the only time I can ever remember getting in a fight with her. She basically told me I couldn't go to the highest part of the heaven we believe in.
January 25th: the last time T emailed me
February 7th: the last time I emailed him. to be honest I was kind of upset that you didn't email me last week, but your busy so oh well. Monday was the worst day I have had in a long time, I balled for 30 min in my car at the target parking lot in the snow on the phone with Summer at about midnight. the only people i wanted to talk to were you and summer. but then that tuesday after i went to Drumline rehearsal and had the best day ever. i really needed that. this week has been long and stressful. i'm going to Idaho next weekend, i am super excited, i bet your package will come when i'm gone. I am trying to move out of my apartment and am looking for a new job. Things haven't exactly been the best or going my way this last little while, but i guess thats life.
Fabrurary 27th: I still haven't gotten my package and he still hasn't emailed me. I am wondering if he has even sent my package yet or just told me he did to get me to hush up about it. The fact that he hasn't emailed me the last 4 weeks makes me really worried. I am worried that something either happened to him, or something I did is making him choose not to email me.
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